The Non-Sequiturs return!

This morning I’m engaged in the highest form of multi-tasking: waiting for a conference call to begin, watching Jeremy Bonderman ease into and out of his standard first-inning high-wire act, and writing this post. Impressed? Thought not.Nevertheless, back from a long siesta here are the Non-Sequiturs:I called it. Sorta. During the pre-season podcast roundtable – the one that never “aired” due to technical issues – I asked my esteemed panel of guests to name their respective Tigers player to watch during 2007. My choice? Magglio Ordonez. I just had a gut feeling that he was poised to build off of his ALCS vibes. Has he ever. I think it’s safe to assume Ordonez will be an All Star this year whether or not he’s voted in or not. I’ll see if I can scare-up that sound bite…The Casey HR Watch. So here we are at Memorial Day weekend, an unofficial milestone in the major league baseball season, and Tigers’ first baseman Sean Casey has yet to go yard. Methinks we should start a pool for when he’ll first reach the seats. Anyone interested? Winner gets a Fungo T-shirt, a podcast T-shirt and another goodie from the Fungo bookshelf. To get things started, I say he goes yard on June 1 at Cleveland. My second guess, in case you’re wondering, Sept. 12 against Texas.Curious glove work. I just saw that Meijer is giving away Gary Sheffield gloves at Comerica Park one game this weekend. Why give away the glove of the full-time DH?Speaking of Sheff… Ernie Harwell, doing the TV call with Mario Impemba today, said that he read Sheffield’s autobiography and thinks it’s one of the best player-“written” books he’s ever read.Tigers punchless at first. We mentioned Casey’s power woes earlier. You have to believe that Dave Dombrowski has noticed the production the Tigers’ division rivals get from first base:

  • Tigers: Casey – .255 avg., 0 HR, 10 RBI, .312 OBP, .319 SLG
  • Indians: Ryan Garko – .325 avg., 6 HR, 15 RBI, .377 OBP, .516 SLG
  • Twins: Justin Morneau – .282 avg., 14 HR, 33 RBI, .358 OBP, .576 SLG
  • White Sox: Paul Konerko – .213 avg., 6 HR, 21 RBI, .308 OBP, .369 SLG
  • Royals: A platoonish arrangement of Ross Gload and Ryan Shealy (combined stats) – .254 avg., 4 HR, 28 RBI, .298 OBP, .394 SLG

Lynn Henning thinks the Tigers will target a first baseman at the trade deadline. They have to, don’t they?Feliz cumpleaños, Jose. Surely you sent warm birthday wishes to Jose Mesa on Wednesday, right? Hello? One thing’s for sure, he didn’t pitch any better at 41 than he did in the waning days of 40. Here’s the skinny on his last five outings: 12.46 ERA (4.1 IP/6 ER), 7 H, 3 BB, 2 SO. Stellar!By the by… Here’s the line for Jason Grilli over his last five appearances: 7.45 ERA (9.2 IP / 8 ER), 16 H, BB, 8 SO.That’s enough from me.What do you think?

Chirping Crickets Surround Helton-to-Tigers Talks

Everyone needs a cause, right?

Right?

Well, I abandoned my 2006 campaigns — Craig Monroe Must Go, Shawn Green is the Trade Deadline Target of Choice, the short-lived but wildly popular Give J.T. Snow a Chance and, well, there were others, to avoid being deemed irrelevant in the Tigers blogosphere.

But now, a mere 30 days into this new annum, I’ve got yet another cause: Bring Todd Helton to the Tigers and park his freakish on-base percentage at first base and make it stay there.

Do we like Sean Casey? No. We love Sean Casey. After all, he’s the only one who showed up for the World Series.

But, come on, this is Todd Helton. (Yes, the same Todd Helton that, when I lived in Denver, I begrudgingly accepted as the Rockies’ first baseman of the future even though Andres Galarraga was more than adequate — and then some.) Wind him up and watch him hit 25 homers at Comerica Park.

The Red Sox are out of the running so there’s room for the Tigers to offer a handsome package of players (Monroe, anyone?) including a couple of prospects to the directionless Rockies. Perhaps Dave Dombrowski can persuade them to bring back Neifi Perez for a farewell tour. I know, I know, let’s not get silly…even though you and I know that Neifi could hit at least seven or eight home runs at Coors Field.

I’m just sayin’…

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