Conspiracy Theorists Out in Full Force

Wow. In a World Series that has plenty of storylines, who expected we’d have to deal with this ridiculous non-story?

I was listening to Colin Cowherd on ESPN Radio this morning and he was taking calls about Kenny Rogers and the Òwas-it-pine-tar-or-wasn’t-it?Ó debate.

All I can say is: people, get a life.

The first guy I heard was saying that Rogers was cheating because, well, I’m a pine-tar expert and that stuff makes the ball all crazy-like.

Another guy Ñ a Tigers fan Ñ said he can see a parallel between Rogers and Barry Bonds. Get this: his ÒlogicÓ was that like Bonds, Rogers is getting better with age which can only mean…Rogers is on the clear and the cream.

ÒHow did he go from a number-three starter to an All-Star three years in a row? Could he be on steroids?Ó I kid you not. That’s what he said. Forget the pine tar lunacy, he’s kicking it up a notch and going to the juice. Again: people…

I don’t know about you, but if I took the steroids that the caller thinks Rogers may be on, I’d ask for my money back.

The final guy I heard was a former minor leaguer. He said that in cold-weather cities pitchers use pine tar and other stuff all the time to help with grip the ball. The caller, who played ball in Minnesota and knows about the conditions there in the spring, said that hitters knew about the sticky stuff and didn’t care.

Why? Because it doesn’t effect the pitch.

Hitters, the caller posits, care more about balls that might be scuffed, sliced or have Gaylord Perry-approved substances applied to them.

Frankly, I’m sorry that I spent this much time on the topic.

To sum it up in the words of Seinfeld: ÒPeople…they’re the worst.Ó

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